Fostering & Adoption

From the very beginning of AMADEO's creation we had elder families adopting kids and we were driving down to an orphanage in Mexico on a monthly basis.

In 2015 - 25% of our church was composed of foster kids, adopted kids, or re-united kids.   God was making it more than clear that our value of diversity was to include the motherless and fatherless.

We have been slow to figure out how we can best support families who are doing foster care or adoption.

This is our current plan for supporting foster kids and adopted kids.  We hope this expands as we move foward.

This is not a guarantee of services - but a beginning plan of attack.

This will be reserved for regular attenders of AMADEO as we are able to provide.

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Foster Starter Kits: (from AMADEO church)
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0-2 years old = 

1. 10 days of meals (m-f for two weeks) - meal train
2. diapers from the pregnancy center
3. Gift cards for take out (for two nights meals)
4. Prayer in front of church
5. Baby Shower

3-12 years old =

Choose 1 of the 5 options below (based on needs)

  • Clothes Train: Five Clothes Gifts sponsored by people in Church (Shoes 1x, underwear 5x, socks 5x, pants 2x, shirt 2x)
  • Room Train: Sheets, Comforter, Pillows, Pillow Cases...
  • Meal Train
  • School Train: Backpack, school supplies: pens, paper, pencils, crayons, etc
  • Hygiene Train-- Haircut, toothpaste toothbrush, shampoo, cleaning supplies for the home

2. Gift cards for take out (for two nights meals)
3. Prayer in front of church

13-17 years old =

Choose 1 of the 5 options below (based on needs)

  • Clothes Train: Five Clothes Gifts sponsored by people in Church (Shoes 1x, underwear 5x, socks 5x, pants 2x, shirt 2x)
  • Room Train: Sheets, Comforter, Pillows, Pillow Cases...
  • Meal Train
  • School Train: Backpack, school supplies: pens, paper, pencils, crayons, etc
  • Hygiene Train-- Haircut, toothpaste toothbrush, shampoo, cleaning supplies for the home

2. Gift cards for movie nights (2x for 3 people)
3. Prayer at home privately (for shy teenagers)

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Adoption/Starter Kits: (from AMADEO church)
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1. Financial Gift from Church 
2. Baby/Child/Teen dedication before the Lord
3. If straight to adoption rather than foster and under 2 (Baby Shower)
4. If straight to adoption and older than 2 - a Clothes Train


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other helpful ways to help a foster family or a new adoption:

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each family is different but here are comfort items you could collect to have on hand that we make sure all our placements get regardless of age 

BABW plush (GC or pre- stuffed )


Slippers

Robes

Pillow pet 

Own comforter (Ross has always been best for us selection and cost wise so maybe ppl donate the 5pc sets and kids can select or a gc to offset cost) 

Other random Gc ideas of little things that add up not already mentioned above 

*Chain hair salon gc -- great clips has an offer sometimes you buy 10 for 7.99 in advance

*toiletries
Our 1st placements had never had character toothbrush and tootpaste.

Ikea frakta bags or something similar to pack up belongings when reunifying (anything but garbage bags) 

Backpacks with basic school supplies. (They're hard to get at a great price once back to school sales end) We used to buy 10 every year and stock them-- 

Jackets --we buy them on clearance every February for less than $5 at WM and other stores -- including teen sizes 

And ways we made affordable initial clothing packs for new placements to have on hand. We watch clearance racks for following items that seem to fit most body types . We avoid jeans until placement due to length and slim-husky fit

Girls -- tees & leggings 
Boys-- basketball shorts or athletic pants and tees

 

for foster parents - plastic storage bins-- they add up when you're licensed 0-17 and you store sz 0 infant-size 16 teen in your garage at $7-12 each

 

Respite... watch the kids for an hour or two and give the parents a break. If someone isn't comfortable being alone with them, do it at there home and the parents can go in another room just to catch their breath.

 

Whenever we get new teens we end up with so many appts that picking up our other kids at school gets complicated some days. Circle K gift cards also go a long way w all our travels... for gas or polar pops

Also, if you're reaching out to others in the church for help for foster and adoptive families, maybe some basic information about attachment disorders, trauma triggers, off limit topics and phrases... just basics like not saying "real kids" or "own kids" , not expecting 16yo trauma kids to act like 16yos, not asking probing questions. One of our placements came after a huge news story was aired about the bio family and we came to church and several people were talking about how awful the parent was to let whatever happen. Also many of our placements have been atheists or LDS and not able to sit through services and having a young adult to talk to has made a huge difference. Some of those little things could make a big impact in the welcome teens receive.

 

Prayer -
Adrenal failure in fost/adopt mommas is pretty common Hyper vigilance in home and out ,wears on you over time .
The exposure to the demonic

forces here on earth that causes secondary trauma. 
Advocating all. the. time from sped to bh to court , medical care, etc is hard.
Laying it all at the cross bc there is so much uncertainty and following blindly but heeding the call.
External judgement 
Trauma parenting is tough! I think we fost/adopt moms get an extra dose of mom guilt and shame when we have those mom fails and parent in our carnal self vs fruits of the spirit
Oh and isolation- wether it be due to large family size, fear, intentional to attach/ bond and help a child heal, odd availability due to appts etc 
Employment- so many struggle even when in two parent households bc the demands are high and not always 8-5 conducive. I know many who have to use Fmla to prevent termination 

Pray for all involved in the system, I think most have pure intent to do good but the system is a mess! 

And most important:
Pray for the children and their physical , emotional, spiritual healing and restoration